Blogging is hard – or – How to have your evening ruined via email!

PLEASE NOTE: The following post was written in the midst of my considerable anger. Since then, I believe that most of the situation has been rectified, but I still felt that enough stuff of this nature has happened lately, and that this post was in fact, worth posting.

Also I swear quite a lot in this post, so people who are sensitive to that sort of potty-mouthedness should avoid this post altogether.

Hey everyone…

I feel I need to vent a little something. Yesterday evening I thought I would check my email before going to bed, something I try not to do too often because it tends to snap me awake again… and boy did it ever last night.

I received two messages from a couple of people. These are people whom I want to make clear that I truly respect and like as individuals, and whom, in the interest of respect and privacy, I will not name here.

The messages I received pertained to a couple of postings I recently made here at Boytoons Magazine. Despite all the positive things I had written about these people and their work, these emails were both somewhat unkind and felt of an inappropriate tone.

One of the emails was telling me that I had not credited the creator of an illustration, when in fact, I had. Obviously, the author of that email failed to read my posting completely.

The second email, which arrived moments after the first, dryly demanded that I make a correction on a posting. Yes, I will admit, the second letter made a valid point, and I was happy to correct my mistake… and for that mistake, I do (and did) apologize. But you know what, email is not an excuse to be short with anyone, and I think there are ways of saying things. One can still be courteous even when they are making a complaint.

This made me feel that the authors of those letters were a little ungrateful.

Now, I don’t ask for people to bow down before me just because I write about them or showcase their works. I’m not looking to be Sainted! But I would like to be treated with a little more respect.

You see it’s like this, sometimes I think it is possible to be TOO open with people. This Blog has been amazing in so many ways, but in other ways, it has left me feeling open and vulnerable, and sometimes verrrrry frustrated. I think I get so caught up in my “the world is such a lovely place when we are all friends” bullshit, that I forget that there are people out there who will blow that fantasy to high fucking Heaven.

W.T.F!?!?!

What kind of society do we live in where saying something nice about someone gets you shit upon??

Then there are the artists I approach to ask if they would have any objection to my talking about their work here. At first I thought this might be a good way to make certain I don’t offend anyone. Well… I think it’s no surprise that receiving a reply basically stating that they are true artists, only interested in depicting the beauty of the human form and not at all into their art for the homo-erotic aspects, while I am a base pornographer and not anywhere near their Godliness, leaves me a little irate.

Oh pardon me, Mr. High and Mighty! Where do I get these silly notions? I see an illustration of two men sucking each other’s cocks and think homo-erotic! What on Earth is wrong with me? But of course, what the Hell do I know?

How insulting is THAT????

You go on living in your flaky messed up LA LA LAND where only you can view your fucking art, because only you are sophisticated enough to truly appreciate its beauty.

….. jeezus christ…. !

I think sometimes that email has set communication back hundreds of years. People can interpret email any which way they want, but worse still, email has become an excuse to be short and blunt, and I won’t even get into the spelling and punctuation… and those horrible messages all written in CAPS! Oy!

In some ways, this all translates to Blogging, because when you are Blogging, you are in fact attempting to communicate using the written word. It’s like trying to draw using a sledgehammer.

So yes, Blogging is hard from time to time, because no matter how nice and giving you try to be, you cannot please everybody and there will always be those who misread or misinterpret you, or worse still, jump to conclusions before they’ve actually read the entire posting.

I am really wondering if I wasn’t better off before I started playing Mr. Editor in Chief of Boytoons Magazine. But then I think of all of the really great people who comment on the posts I put together and who enjoy the Blog, and maybe, just maybe, that’ll help me fend off the unpleasant ones just that much longer.

So my friends, I am pissed off…BIG FUCKING TIME! And though a good deal of this stuff has been fixed with the authors of the emails that have so set me off, I think I needed to make all of this public…because that is what Blogs are. At the beginning of all of this, I swore I would stay sweet and cordial, and never utter a bad thing about anyone!

Well that lasted all of a month…and now I have been pushed.

I promise you, Boytoons Magazine is NOT going to become a bitch fest, but it is important for me to say what I feel. This is my domain and I won’t be dissed here. I set out to create something that would enable me to share my love of gay erotic art and other artists with as many people as I could, and that will continue, but I have to be honest and true to myself and everyone here, otherwise there in no point in doing any of this.

So if you have a complaint, I truly am all ears. Just be polite about it, and we’ll get along juuuuuuuust fine!

Believe it or not….Much love to each and everyone of you!
Patrick XOXO

Comments

  1. That’s one drawback of so many people seeing your blog. Out of a crowd of lots of people, there’s always bound to be a few who seem to exist only to get on your nerves. Happens to me all the time!

    It seems that a lot of people go around trying to get offended just so they can have an excuse to complain to somebody and be a professional victim. I hope it doesn’t deter you from blogging in the future.

  2. Damian & Trent says

    You probably know the joke:

    Two psychologists pass each other in a corridor, & each says “Hi” to the other. (Then each thinks, “I wonder what he meant by that!”)

    Communication is hard work. That’s why few people attempt it. Thanks for attempting it, Patrick, & for going beyond just attemping.

    Damian & Trent

  3. Charvolth says

    well glad it was sorted out, it can be tough to express yoursel when writung text, without voice tone almost anything can be misunderstood

  4. Hey Patrick,

    I have to agree with Spubba, Damian & Trent.

    There is always one in a crowd who thinks their shit dosen’t stink. Well I have news for us all. It does.

    There are always people looking for something to complain about, what a waste of time and effort. Don’t let it stop you from doing what you think is fun and something that you enjoy.

    I have no time for people who cry “victim.” People love to get on a Soap Box and preach. But like all other Soap Boxes they collapse under the weight because they are weak.

    Your Blog is your space, and if they don’t like, no one is holding a gun to their heads to look at it.

    I would be shattered if you stopped blogging and I know I wouldn’t be the only one.

    As for spelling errors and emailing in caps, well just check out my blog and look at the baby film clip and you will see what I think about that!

    You are amongst friends here, as the same with you as well Spubba. Your friends are always there as your support.

    Oh, one more thing, I do think your GOD, and I worship the quicksand you walk on!

    Manny
    xoxo

  5. Gene Gray says

    Here here, all of you!! Patrick, buddy boy, just keep on keepin’ on!! It gets hard, trust me I know, in my daytime real world job I do customer service so I know all about the rotten apples in a bunch. Also if that was you being pissed, let me say you are still very considerate and gracious even when venting!! ;) The good thing about this blog is that it is YOURS!! So you just keep doing what you do best and being yourself, as this blog is the world of your creation, and I’m happy to get to visit!!

  6. Hey Gene Grey!

    I couldn’t have said it better myself!

    BTW – I worked in customer service for anout 5 minutes once, I got fired because I kept transfering customers to the local brothel, Jenny Craig weight loss center and to the Pizza Hut! LOL, I don’t think it was the job for me!

    Manny
    xx

  7. Patrick, You said it well! You are Great w/your words! I have trouble conveying my thoughts into words sometimes, and getting it typed out even takes longer, let alone spelling and all that other stuff. But I always try to catch up on Your blogs even though I don’t respond to all. I’m surprised you keep up with it as well as you do, along w/all your other work, but I enjoy reading Your blog and support You as long as You may keep it up!(Hey, I’ll help you by holding it up)(dirty little pun intended)Ha(sorry).
    Zio

  8. *agrees with Manny. It’s your blog, dude. The haters can start their own if they got something to say about it. You’ll still have your followers and pick up more every day cuz your work is great and you have meaningful things to say.

    omg– I can’t believe someone said that about being a “true artist.” wtf– um… because the rest of us are fake artists?

    That really strikes home with me because I remember I used to be so embarrassed in art school when I’d turn in cartoons as my projects and the “real artists” would turn their noses up and make really off-color remarks about my work.

    But hey– I can’t complain too much becasue they all have hellish day jobs now and haven’t picked up a paintbrush in 5 years. BWA HA HA! Yeah, I got yer real artists!

  9. CHILL HERE. HEY PATRICK…FUCK THEM. YOUR WORK IS THE SHIT ! SO WHAT…A COUPLE OF PEOPLE HAD A LITTLE TEMPER TANTRUM. DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF…CAUSE IT’S ALL SMALL STUFF. YOU KEEP POSTING AND DOING YOUR THING. WE CAN’T PLEASE EVERYONE…BUT YOU KNOW WHAT…THEY’LL GET OVER IT. NO ONE IS PERFECT IN THIS WORLD. YOU KEEP DOING YOUR THING….CAUSE LIKE MANY OTHERS…YOU’VE GOT A FAN HERE FOR LIFE !

  10. Asmodeus says

    “One’s mediocrity, is another one’s good program.” – ???

    Uh, sorry, I forgot the name of the TV producer. But you get it. Similar to “One’s trash, is another one’s treasure.” Well, you can’t please everybody. That’s reality. Just remember its YOUR blog. You haven’t exactly done anything wrong, after all. You credited everything here properly.

    And honestly, the issue about the typos is so making a mountain out of an anthill. We’re typing words straight from our thoughts here. It would only be an issue if it happened to be ten consecutive mispelled words. Otherwise, its still understandable. So why bother? Maybe their minds are too undeveloped to comprehend one mispelled word.

    Don’t mind them. Those insects! Ahahahahaha! Joke. There are still a lot of people here who love you. Take Manny here, and Phroq, and Charvolth and the others in the gang. ^_^

    PS: And if anybody else claims that an artwork depicting two men doing a 69 is pure aestheticism – well, somebody’s seriously kidding himself.

  11. Hello Patrick,

    I read Your post and can feel Your anger and frustration. There’s not much that I can do about to make You feel better, but I hope sharing some of my experiences is kinda relieving Your stress.

    I, myself, have gotten into quite some fights on the Internet – and I learned my lesson(s) the hard inter-way.

    What I want to say is, never forget – many of those people flaming each other would never do so up-front and in their/your face(s).

    Ever since You started this blog a month ago, and we fans got the chance to get a little closer to You, believe me, we all were more than impressed. You are a great person, a gorgeous human being and You should never get irritated because of somebody who obviously didn’t understand what You want to achieve with this blog: Namely, Making great artists more popular.

    I fail to see his/their point(s), but I sure see Yours. This is not about who is right and who is wrong. This is about manners and about how to behave respectfully. Even on the Internet, there’s rules and people must learn to follow them.

    In real life, I am pretty much the same person as I am here. And it makes me proud to admit that I feel comfortably enough around these great folks on this blog to share my views, opinions and even a part of my daily life.

    To me, a good artist is somebody who can draw well. A great artist is somebody who can draw well and relate to others, who has a personality and can be “touched”.

    All of us fans here cannot thank You enough for giving us this opportunity, Patrick: To get in “touch” with You is more than awesome and it makes my day. Thank You very much for sharing Your thoughts and daily life with us. We all appreciate that.

  12. Hello Patrick

    It takes all kinds doesn’t it. One would think that someone being mentioned in good light would be appreciative. I know I would. But unfortunately there will always be a proverbial turd in the drinking water.

    In that sense it is so refreshing to have a great artist like you who isn’t up his own arse. Some people like artists or actors feels superior just because the work they do are for others to enjoy. What some don’t realise is if threre weren’t any people to enjoy and let’s be honest here, pay for their work. Where would they be? Respect should run both ways, and the fact that you have started a blog to communicate to your fans is a great thing. There will always be people who piss on your batteries, but such is life.

    You are very much apreciated Patrick, not only because of your work, but your ability and willingness to please your friends and fans.

    Lots of love
    Hiroke XOXO

  13. Hey Phrog,

    You are such a sweetie, and I agree with everything you say.

    I wish I was able to give ya a huge bear hug!

    Manny
    xx

  14. MJR Charlie says

    Aww Patrick, its so rotten to have one of two people ruin it for you, but you need to remember that far, far far far far more people appreciate you and your work.

    Your always get those who have an opinion that wavers from what everyone thinks and feels, for the reason jus to make them feel speical. I hope they didn’t depress you in any way.

    You’ve done a lot for people with your work, like a new age Tom of Finland, and that makes you great man!
    But your also a nice, normal person who just happens to have some really creative and fun ideas that you express (in the best possible way I might say).

    Like my mum often said to me, “Don’t let the bastards drag you down”.

    Hope that helps.

  15. Patrick,

    Hang in there. This is YOUR Blog. Your Space. You have a great number of readers, who are fans of your work. Don’t let one or two ever get you down.

    We read your blog with enthusiasm every day.

    Thanks for sharing your Art and your love for it with us.

  16. I think everyones pretty much said it and far more articulately than me, but Patrick… I just wouldn’t waste your energy on a couple of pig ignorant morons.

    This blogg is a brilliant way to showcase yours and others amazing artwork. If it wasn’t for your website links and blogg I would never have been made aware of extremely talented artists like JC, Spubba, Iceman, Tagame, Logan and Michael Breyette to name just a few… And be in no doubt that you and all of these guys are ARTISTS of the highest calibre! Just because it doesn’t hang in the Louvre, doesn’t make it any less important…

    (digressing slightly, I’m pretty sure someones knocked one off to Michelagelo’s David before and to be perfectly honest, NJ or Cam are far more attractive ideals of manhood to me;)

    If someone doesn’t want their artwork displayed here, then they’re more than welcome to decline, but I really don’t undestand the snobbery either. They’ve simply cut off their nose to spite their face, coz like I said before, we’re people that could have potentionally become followers of their work just as we are of yours Patrick.

    So take it from a devoted fan, there are more important things in life for you to get pissed off about,(like having to wait another week to see the new Superman movie argh!!!) because at the end of the day your a better person;) And that has to be one of the most graciously polite rants I’ve ever read.

    P.S you really should be sainted, but you can’t saint a deity and here my friend… Well, your GOD! So I guess that must mean those e-mails that were sent to you are kinda sacrilegious lmao:)

    Also one last p.s, speaking of other artist, does anyone know what happened to Brad Parker coz he used to draw some brilliant erotic art?

    PB:)

  17. dreamerboy6 says

    This is why handling large groups can be so challenging. When they are smaller and more intimate, gatherings of people can be such a joy. The pain comes in when the group expands and there are conflicts of opinion and outright rudeness. I hope you know how much the bulk of us appreciate and admire you and everything you do! THANK YOU PATRICK! ^_^

  18. Hi Patrick,

    The truth is………some people are mean. I as much as I hate to say it, alot of it has to do with those two ugly demons, “envy” and “jealousy”. You are a very talented and prolific artist and you will always have someone out there to try and drag you down. Unfortunately you will have to deal with this type of criticism when you are at the top of your game. As an artist myself I have been there, and at a younger age I did let it get to me. Eventually you just learn to ignore those types and excell in what you believe in.

    I say good for you Patrick! You said some wonderful things about me and my work in a past blog of BOYTOONS and for that I am eternally greatful!

    On that note, Blog away!

    All my best to you friend!

    Dave Erb

  19. T Anderson says

    I stopped showcasing individual artists in my blog because of someone I encountered at y!Gallery. It was centered on some Ghost in the Shell fanart I found fascinating. I wanted to share with my Japan friends who read my blog yet were unable to log into y!Gallery. The email I got back when I informed this person of what I’d done me feel like I was shit on their shoe. That’s when I decided I’d never do that again. ^_^;

    I find that no matter what my tone in text is, there’s always going to be some form of menstrual moment that turns the simplest of internet communication into chewing glass. You can’t relax afterward because you’re hurt. It’s like being on the hunt and then making contact and instead of that other not being interested and just walking away-they decide to insult you first before walking away. It stinks. I guess lack of consideration for ‘the other person’ is thrown out the window when someone is sitting at the keyboard staring at a screen.

    As many have wished here, I hope this doesn’t discourage you from blogging.

    -T Anderson

  20. Hey Patrick,

    I just wanted to touch base with you and check in to that your doing o.k

    I hope you having a great weekend (It’s monday in Sydney)and it’s a glorious winters day here.

    Well time to clean up my back yard, I have builders trapsing all over the joint, leaving crap laying around all over the place. Normally I wouldn’t care if they were good looking, hell if they were I’d be making tea and scones for them, but this mob are as ugly as a bucket full of busted assholes and have a noticable stentch emitting from them that I can’t even fathom what part of the body it’s emitted from!

    Manny
    xxx

  21. Hi Gang…

    First off, I want to thank you all for your support and your kind words. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your encouragement and words of wisdom. It meant a lot to me to be able to talk openly about my situation, and to have you all be there to offer advice and comfort.

    I want to tell you that I am over my anger. I took most of today to just unwind and let go of it all. You are correct…in the end, it is all small stuff, and not worth sweating. I suppose that it all got to me so badly this time around because there were 3 instances one after the other, and a 4th, which I did not bother to mention because it was so stupid, which had occurred a few days before.

    A boy can only take so much I guess.

    But my Momma always says, you gotta let it out or it will eat away at you, and she is right.

    There will always be people who cannot be pleased. Professional victims as Spubba so accurately put it. They must not be permitted to spoil ones fun!

    So, on I go with Boytoons Magazine, because I still believe in it and what it is I am trying to do with it. Sharing the love of erotic art and spreading the word and making sure that the artists who create this amazing art are properly recognized and respected is very important to me. And I can see it is very important to all of you as well.

    You have my deepest thanks and affections, dear friends. Your kindness means the world to me, and as always, has helped to bring a smile to my face! You really are the very best, and it is an honor to share with you.

    Much love to each and every one of you!
    Patrick XOXOXO

  22. PS — Manny, you are such a sweetie. It was very kind of you to check in and make sure that I was okay. All is well now, thanks in no small part to all of you kind folks.

    Much love to you my friend!
    Hugz + Kisses
    Patrick XOXO

  23. Raasbwoy says

    Normally I just quietly read my favourite blogs and let whatever drama is occurring take its course. But I have been a fan for years and felt that maybe I should be a bit more vocal. I’m glad that you have decided to take the high road on this. The statement that got to me is the one about your work being “base pornography and not art”…WTF? I a recent art school grad(not that that validates my statements)The art that you share with us is phenomenal: both yours and the featured artists. I used to be wary of homoerotic elements in my own work until I realised my teachers were trying to get me to express it. The internet tends to desensitize some people and I’ve seen wonderful communities on the web destroyed by people overreacting and then bitching and complaining. I’m happy that things are worked out .

  24. MJR Charlie says

    “The statement that got to me is the one about your work being “base pornography and not art”…WTF? “

    Raasbwoy hit the nail on th head their Patrick. We live in a world held in the grimp of something called censorship, a horrid crime that prevents freedom of expression.
    In the greek times, men would carve wonderful statues showing men in all their beauty, artists back then knew nothing short of the naked male form was the most beautiful image that could be concerved, and nobody minded, they were works of art.

    In modern times people find reason to want to control things they have very little grasp of, and even less understanding. They make up excuses for classing something as endearing as a naked man under the title of ‘porno’. Now Porno is a word thats only come into the english lauguage in the recent centuries, so now things like nudity can be thrown into this catagory so easily by censor.

    But, the very core of people who have an open mind of expression are those that see the naked male form for what it is, a work of beauty.

    I see a beautiful man in the street, and think to myself ‘I bet he looks like a work of art under those cloths’.

    So never let anyone tell you that the work you do is ‘just pornographic’.
    Yours is a work of art, and your one of the best and most expressive artists I’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing.

    Seeing your work makes me think ‘God I’m so glad I’m gay’.

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