BOYTOONS MAGAZINE #28 – BOYTOYS! Really HOT action figures!

Okay, so I am gonna share a little secret with you! I grew up rubbing the bulges on my He-Man action figures! LOL!!! And really, what Gay man didn’t do that as a kid? My G.I. Joes, my Masters of the universe and all of my other male toys were a source of endless fascination for me. Now I wouldn’t want you to think that I am some pervert or anything, it is more that these toys were the physical representation of something I was attracted to, even if I didn’t understand what the meant at the time.

As an adult, I have never outgrown my love of action figures and collectibles (and continue to rub their crotches! HA! HA! HA!). I guess that it is an extension of my collecting comics. Still, action figures today have come a long way, and although so many of our favorite Boytoon characters are still shamefully flat-crotched, recent years have seen some really HOT and SEXY action figures hit the shelves. Some, such as the recently revamped line of Masters of the Universe toys, are actual mainstream releases, while others, like Tom of Finland’s REBEL, today’s cover Boytoy, are considered novelty items. These particular pieces can bleed your wallet dry, but for a collector of erotica AND of action figures, they are a real dream come true.

I thought I would share a few pieces from my collection with you here today. Truth be told, my personal collection of action figures is more vastly populated with heroines than heroes. You really ought to see my little shrine to Princess Leia in order to fully grasp that… But my male action figures are starting to grow in number.

Here is my breakdown of some of the sexiest male action figures that have ever been created, according to moi.

1 – The Billy Dolls: Billy, Carlos and the yummy Tyson, by Totem Inc. Okay, so these boys ain’t cheap at like, $40 to $120 US a piece, but the fact that they are anatomically correct and beautifully sculpted makes them worth every penny. Though Billy is my least favorite, the three figures together look very impressive, and are gorgeous inside my glass display cases. What makes these boys so much fun is that they can be dressed up and down in several snazzy little outfits. You can even dress Tyson as a UPS driver… HO-BOY! LOL!

As far as I know, these toys aren’t being manufactured any longer, but most Gay stores and on-line merchants still carry them. My advice for the collector on a budget: skip Billy altogether, as his sculpting is kinda inferior to the rest of the line, and snap up either his boyfriend Carlos, or his pal, Tyson. Better sculpting and all together sexier looking dolls!

2 – Tom of Finland’s Rebel, by the TOF foundation. Okay, so this toy is sexy, but I must point out a few negative points as well. To begin with, though he is terribly handsome, he looks nothing like the Tom of Finland illustration he is based upon. Not sure what that is all about, but c’est la vie. Yes he does have interchangeable penises that you can pose soft or erect, but there is no detailing to them and no paint job on them either…so they kinda look like he has a skin colored piece of Playdough between his things. You will notice that I color corrected him slightly for his appearance on today’s cover. His clothing is great, but once you remove the shirt from his body, forget about EVER getting it back on! Thems are some heafty man-tits he has, and there is no way you will manage to slip the slinky white T-Shirt over top of them massive pecs.

To be fair though, he makes a great collectible despite these little negatives. He comes with a cool silver stand, into which his feet are bolted, so he stands perfectly well and sturdy! His leather jacket and pants have some really awesome detail to them, and look really authentic.

He ain’t cheap though, and he’ll run you close to $100 bucks, but again, for die hard collectors, especially fans of the amazing Tom of Finland, the Rebel is a must!

3 – Street Fighter action figures, by Resaurus and by Sota. The truth is that I far preferred the Resaurus line of Street Fighter toys, but the company went tits up, and sadly only produced 2 waves of them. But what waves they were! The male figures were beautifully muscled and detailed, and even their little nipples had a separate pass of paint on them! You don’t see that very often, and you sure as Hell won’t see it from Toy Biz.

The Sota line is very nice in its own right, and though they focus more on articulation than the Resaurus toys ever did, their sculpting is still quite lovely. And thanks to them I was able to add the sexy Adon to my collection. They also don’t shy away from detailing their male character’s anatomy, which earns them some big points from me!

4 – Masters of the Universe, by Mattel. Well, as I said before, the He-Man toys were the bomb when I was growing up, and as an adult collector today, the recently revamped line of MOTU toys does not fail to deliver. The sculpting is amazing, and the detail is mind-boggling. Each classic character has been revisited and given a new, more modern and high-tech look.

I am not impressed with Mattel however, who single-handedly killed the toy line while it was hot due to their shameless short-casing of certain figures. Hence endless variants of He-Man and Skeletor littered the store shelves, driving col
lectors insane because you could never find the toys you really wanted. I was lucky, I have my ways… Mwah-Ha! Ha! Still, I would kill for an Evil-Lyn that wouldn’t make me need to get a second mortgage on my house!

Particularly sexy figures from this line include the yummy Zodac, and of course the beautiful Prince Adam! Best place to track these boys down now is Ebay. You may also want to keep an eye out for variant He-Mans and Skeletors at your local Toys R’ us discount bins. Just because they are so numerous doesn’t make them any less lovely!

5 – Marvel Comics characters, by ToyBiz. I am NOT a ToyBiz fan. A lot of their stuff feels really cheap and stupidly put together. But on occasion they will come up with a toy that redeems them slightly in mine eyes! Their line of Marvel Legends toys started off nicely, but then catastrophe struck…and we ALL know I am referring to the dreaded anorexic Scarlet Witch “Cher look-alike”. Still, their original Namor action figure was not too bad. Also of note are their Angel and Iron Fist figures. Both are very handsome and boast some pretty nice sculpting, especially Angel’s wings.

I wan not crazy about their Legends Nightcrawler, but rather liked their teeny tiny Figure Factory Kurt. He’s very dynamic and unlike Storm, which had me pulling out my hair trying to find, he is a regular line figure which makes him easy to find.

6 – Kenneth Irons by Moore Action Collectibles. Now defunct, MAC created some of the most exquisitely sculpted action figures EVER! Their Buffy and Angel lines were breathtaking, always a dead ringer for the actors they were sculpted after. But my favorite toy to come from them is of Kenneth Irons from the Witchblade series. I don’t even read Witchblade, but I had to have this toy! He looks like something out of my comics, and his sculpting is pretty freaking amazing. You want detail, check out his armor. Plus this Boytoy has a really fiiiiiine torso to go along with the little bump between his legs.

As Gay culture becomes more and more recognized throughout the world, more Gay-themed toys are being produced. I don’t personally own one, but you can get yourself a truly HUNG Jeff Striker the Porn Star doll if you are so inclined. And let’s not forget the wonderful Big Gay Al and Mr. Garrison toys from my beloved South Park.

So, until my ultimate dream of seeing my own characters come to 3D life as action figures comes true, I shall happily keep on collecting these guys! I hope you’ve enjoyed this little departure from my usual shtick, my efforts as a photographer of the plastic male form and the parade of sculptured studs.

Happy collecting, dear friends!
Patrick XOXOX

Comments

  1. Hey Patrick!

    Oh! This posting is so camp, I love this one!.

    I have always liked action figures but never really went out and bought any. With the extception of the KISS action figures because I love the band so much. Though the new line of Superman really has me going and I think I will go on a shopping splurge!

    But we have really whacko shit here in Sydney in the sex shops around town. The two that spring to mind is a dildo with a mechanisim in it that makes it go erect over the course of a few minutes, but the funniest thing about it is he has a testicle sack filled with silicone and fake testies that men get surgically implanted, the sack around his ball bag resembles chicken skin and even feels like chicken skin!

    The second is a 5″9 woman, with silicone knockers and a silicone pussy that vibrates, when you touch her on her “snatch” (Aussie slang for pussy)she begins to moan and groan.

    Needless to say that I wet myself laughing when I saw both of these items, And thought of some poor rural farm boy in Australia calling one of these items his new best friend!

    So when do you think we will get Boytoon action figures up an running? Just imagine it, action figures of the Guardians that comes with a display case shaped as a green cube, now that is something I would be proud of calling my new best friend!

    Licks & Chews!
    Manny.

  2. Charvolth says

    Bwaaahhaaaaa, I do have an Evil-Lyn, and only paid 36 bucks for her.
    You have touched on a laughable passion of mine, action figures, and oh what damage they have done.
    Ironic that you pointed out Clayburne Moore’s Witchblade line, what got me back into them was the Lady Death (though my motivation was not in admiring them as strong women, but rather my base fanboy fantasies) line he did, though I also did quite a few of the Witchblade figures. That started my whole obsession with rebuilding my childhood be it with the new Master’s of the Universe line, or with Takara re-issuing classic Transformers, giant robots are another thing I go nuts for.
    I see your point with the TOF figure, I think the forhead is too high, that’s what really makes him not look ‘Tommish’, also the lips are just a bit too thin. by the way nice job on the retouching the penis.
    I also have the TOF figure (you can get the hsirt back on, but it will be pushed to the brink of almost tearing) and the Jeff Stryker, and was holding out for ‘Plastic Fantasy’ to do Ron Jeremy with fibrish body hair, or Tera Patrick. Sadly they too went out of business but did one last really nice batch of very nice figures of the girls of Vivid.

  3. Charvolth says

    P.S. I also agree about what Mattell did wrong with the MOtU line, I never saw Evil-Lyn in stores (they packed one for every other case with her), lucked with a few, but paid a bit for the others off E-Bay.
    they should have ddone a shorter run charged 15-20 dollars for the figures and marketed them towards the Gen-X’ers or something.

  4. MJR Charlie says

    Wow, I love action figures, but I go totally mad on my comic and video game heroes and buy statues of them. The cream of my collection is an 18″ inch tall statue of Wolverine (the statues called Logan) of him stood on a rocky outcrop with his shirt missing and in ripped jeans, a crazy look in his eye.

    I’ve got loads of final fantasy action figures, and some metal gear and Legacy of Kain ones.

    Oh by the way Patrick, I went to europride in london yesturday, and well shopping around the prowler store I found your Hot Choclate book, so very sexy!! Do you think your do a latin boys book?

    I’m in pain because of sunburn I got in london, not strong enough a factor. My feet are sore too… but other then that I had a great day.

  5. Dear Patrick,

    I also collected (and still collect … ahem…) action figures and I actually own all of the MAC-figurines. I loved Witchblade when Michael Turner did it and I collected the series until No. 65 (even with each and every variant-cover. Boi, I am a nerd… *ducks from mannys bitchslap* =))

    Moore Creations do the best sculpting in the business and I am also a proud owner of the Witchblade-statue and the Fathom-statue. And many more hahahaha….

    Anyways, I think it’s time to realize that Action Figures have long stepped out of being “kids stuff”. It’s a professional business with loads of money involved.

    Either that or that’s me being a little defensive =D

    Have a nice sunday everybody!

  6. Really cool to know that you collect action figures. My brother has the entire Resaurus line, but much prefer the SOTA figures. The articulation is top notch. I can’t wait for Charlie.

    Good call also on Mattel botching MOTU. She-Ra was all set to debut the next year also. Now we have only mini statues (which are awesome btw). You getting the Evil-Lyn Comic-con statue?

    When I was younger I had to share with my brothers. I remember my older bro getting the main ones ones, and my twin and I splitting the remaining secondary and female toys.

    And GOOD CALL on Kenneth Irons Witchblade figure. I totally agree adn I don’t beven read Witchblade. He’s such a great sculptor, Clayburn Moore.

    I could type all day about toys, but work calls.

  7. Asmodeus says

    So you’re a doll collector as well. Nice! Compared to your hunky set, my Marvels and McFarlanes seem insignificant. Haha!

    Too bad only straight adult toys are sold here. Not really much use for those. God, I envy you more.

  8. I have a Tyson (my BF got oe for me last year) and 3 of the street fighters outta the Sota Line. Ryu, Guile, and Gen. They have reall great hands that I like to use as reference for drawing.

    Man– every time I see Sota action figs, I wanna snatch them all up. It’ll totally break me though! ^___^

  9. Hiya Boys…

    It was so much fun putting this issue together, and I loved doing all the little photographs for ya! I am really happy you enjoyed it! :o)

    Manny, I hope you enjoy the Superman toys! If they look anywhere near as good as Brendn Routh, they will make a wonderful set to collect! :o)

    Charvolth, you are an evil man! LOL!!! I am SOOOOOO jealous you have an Evil-Lyn!!! HA! HA! HA! My day will come! My day will come! ;)

    The Witchblade line really turned out some beautiful action figures and MAC did some amazing sculpts over the years. I especially LOVED their Purgatori! She was stunning! I really miss that toy company!

    Thanks for the comments, and I am glad you enjoyed the post! :o)

    Hi Charlie… Oh My GOD there are some EXQUISITE statues out there, but I have to draw the line somewhere, otherwise I would totally go bankrupt buying up all this stuff! Sounds like you’ve really been enjoying it though! Your Logan sounds pretty sexy!

    Glad you liked Hot Chocolate…A Latin Boytoon-themed book is a possibility for the future as well. I will have to keep it in mind.

    And I hope your sunburn heals very soon. I really hate those nasty things!

    Phrog, I agree with you that action figures are really no longer “Kid Stuff” and that they are a legitimate hobby! They have become little pieces of art over the past while, and there really are some gorgeous ones out there.

    All that to say I think you made a great point and that you are not being defensive at all. It is a fact that the toy industry makes a killing on fans like us, because we just keep eating up their wares…ENTHUSIASTICALLY I might add! LOL!!!

    Hi Gymtwin… Yup I love action figures. I was totally stoked to learn that Sota was putting out a Remy toy…and then I saw him! Let’s just say I lost my excitement…Which is weird because all of their other figures have been really great! Ah well, I will always the Resaurus Remy to adore!

    I would love the Evil-Lyn statue, but I have made a conscious (and VERY painful) decision to stick to the action figures only, since the statues are always so much more expensive. If you snap her up, you’ll have to let me know how she is…

    And I completely understand…I could type all day about toys as well… I guess the proof is in the pudding. This issue was one my longest posts ever! HA! HA! HA!

    Asmodeus… I highly recommend the internet for all of your Gay Action Figures Shopping Pleasures and Needs! LOL!!! Seriously, I even resort to shopping online when I can’t find what I am looking for locally! You can sometimes find some really great bargains! ?

    JC, that was very sweet of your BF to get you a little Tyson! Which one did he get you? Here I only had the choice between the Army and Leather version…but would have KILLED for the UPS version. I guess it is not a common edition though.

    And yes, I have had to keep from snapping up all the Sota SF toys as well. They are not cheap, are they… I am really looking forward to their Darkstalkers line! Those I will NOT be able to resist. It’s funny, ‘cause I am such a huge SF fan but seem more addicted to the DS toys. HA! HA! HA!

    Much love my toy collecting pals! Thanks for all the great toy-chat!
    Hugz + Kisses
    Patrick XOXOX

  10. He got me the leather one. I read in Instinct some time ago that the company that makes the Billy dolls got sued by UPS. Apparently something to do with them having the patent that color brown!

  11. The yummy Tyson is correct! I’m lusting after that damn doll right now! Haha.

  12. Hey JC… WOW! Well I guess they should have asked UPS for permission to use their “look” and stuff! I wonder if the law suit contributed to TOTEM going under? That sucks! ?

    Thanks for the info my friend!
    Hugz + Kisses
    Patrick XOXO

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