BOYTOONS MAGAZINE #14 – The Top 10 Sexiest Men Of Marvel Comics

After yesterday’s INSANELY serious issue of extreme sex in comics, I needed a break! Sooooo, welcome to issue #14 of Boytoons Magazine, where we count down our favorite Marvel Stud Muffins and the reasons why they are so damn hot! Prepare yourselves for mindless bubble gum, folks! Nothing serious here except for the hotness of these Boytoons we’ve all loved since we were old enough to read!

WARNING: This post errs on the side of inane and vapid! Those of you seeking a more intellectual read should skip over this issue and go directly to issue #13! Thank you! LOL!!! ;)

10 – GAMBIT – Oh Remy, you little swamp stud! We dig your accent and love your bad boy swagger. Shame about the overcoat though! With a bod like yours (we’ve seen you playing basketball shirtless!) it’s a real shame to keep so covered up! Plus you get points for having great taste in women (Rogue). And despite your shady tendencies, we still cannot resist your sexy red eyes!

9 – Colossus – Peter, Peter. So buff and so very sweet! This boy has a heart of Gold, and a bod of iron! Can you say EVER-HARD? Plus, you’re actually GAY, which gives you even more points in our little books (or at least you are in the Ultimate X-Men continuum!) That lucky Northstar!

8 – Luke Cage (Power Man) – You’re one of the new Avengers, and you are one FIIIINE brother! Best of all, your costume seems to get shred to pieces in every battle you partake. LOVE THAT! Let them hot, chocolaty muscles hang out baby! When you got ‘em, flaunt ‘em!

7 – Damon Hellstorm – Well, aside from your questionable lineage, no one can deny your total hotness! Your original costume had you bare-chested all the time, running around in a pair of skin tight, red hot-pants! What’s not to love! So what if you’re the son of Satan, you were one of the Defenders, and that gets you major cool points in our book!

6 – Wolverine – Who’s your daddy? If ever there was a super hero daddy figure at Marvel, it’s you! You’re gruff on the outside but a real soft touch on the inside…when you want to be! And all that body hair! Yummm! Who wouldn’t want to get a bear hug by you! Plus, you’ve been caught fighting with your pants down on several occasions, and you don’t seem to mind! On top of it, Hugh Jackman plays you in the X-Men movies. Hellllllo nurse!!!! Wolvie, you are the man!

5 – Nightcrawler – I put you at number 5 my dear Kurt so that people would not accuse me of favoritism! But let’s face it! You are one of the hottest characters in mainstream comics PERIOD! You have that sexy athletic build and you are one of the sweetest guys in comics! You could melt anyone’s heart with that silver tongue of yours. Your charm and wit are undeniable, and you are a true romantic, my blue swashbuckler friend! Okay, so the “I wanna be a priest” phase made you a bit untouchable, but when you’re hot, you’re hot!

4 – Spider-Man – Oh Spidey! You my boy have the best legs in all of mainstream comicdom! You have that lean but ripped swimmer’s build beneath your oh so sexy costume and when terry Dodson draws you, you even show a bit of a bulge. And let’s face it! That is pretty rare for male characters in comics. To top it all off you’ve admitted you don’t like to wear underwear beneath your costume, leaving us to dream about your Spidey wee-wee all nice and loose beneath your spandex! Oh yeah, web- slinger! You could trap us in your web any day!

3 – Angel – Warren, baby! Any hot, buff blond stud with a bazillion dollar bank account and beautiful, glorious wings on his back can sweep us off our feet any time! You may have been blue for a while, but you were still red-hot in our eyes. Plus, Ben Foster portrayed you in X3…and the pecs and abs on that boy were almost as amazing as his wings! Oh yeah, sweetheart! You’ve got us flying high!

2 – Namor (the Sub-Mariner) – You’re a prince and you rule over your very own, magnificent kingdom! You have the distinction of being the very first known mutant ever. You’ve been an Avenger and a Defender, and you have nearly as much physical raw power as the hulk. Well those are great reasons for us to adore you…but the truth is we love you most of all because you wear nothing more than a tiny little green S
peedo! Need I say more!

1- Captain America – Everybody loves a hero, and Cap, you just melt our hearts, even if we aren’t all Americans. You are our hero, and you stand for justice, truth and liberty for ALL mankind, no matter what ethnicity we are! PLUS, you are one of the most down-to Earth characters ever to grace the pages of Marvel comics. You are our idol, and we love you! And, well yah! You got great buns in your blue long-johns! ;)

Artists:

Illustrations of Gambit, Colossus and Nightcrawler by the wonderfully talented Pittman! (NOTE: you will need a Cyberage pass to access the adult sections of his site)

Illustrations of Wolverine and Captain America jerking off by the Uncanny Logan!

Our cover image of Captain America by the amazing B.D!

Illustration of Damon Hellstorm is by the incomparable Michael Bair!

Comments

  1. Hey Patrick,

    Awesome post today with some really great art. Yesterday’s seriousness was cool too, but I haven’t exactly delved into that area yet so I didn’t really have anything to contribute.

    But back to the Marvel guys. Overall nice choices, but to be honest, Wolverine’s just never done it for me. It’s not that I don’t like him or anything, to me he’s just always been really overrated. Havok and Multiple Man on the other hand, are two really underrated studs that just don’t seem to get the attention they deserve from the slashers. Just think of the possibilities…I know I have! There’s soooo many to choose from, but those two would definitely make my top 10.

    And I’m probably the only one here that thinks so, but I can’t wait to see Wiccan from Young Avengers all grown up. Cute, snarky, gay and a massive fanboy – talk about perfect. He’s only 16/17 at the moment, but then again I’m only 19 so that’s not *too* bad.

  2. Evenin’ TJ…

    Glad you enjoyed today’s issue of BTM! It was really fun to put something so light-hearted together after yesterday’s more serious post! I needed a little humor!

    Glad you liked my choices…although I think you made some pretty cool recommendations yourself. Havok is pretty freakin’ hot, and I think he absolutely does deserve an honorable mention…not to mention some good slash! LOL! And Multiple Man…well, we share THOSE fantasies! ;)

    Wolverine, though not my personal fave either, made the cut based on how popular he is with the fans. But I agree that sometimes he gets a much bigger spotlight than he should. Still, he has his sexy moments, and I think Logan’s illustration of him certainly proves that!

    Have a wonderful night, my friend, filled with sweet dreams of a slightly older Wiccan! HA! HA! HA!

    Thanks again for stopping by!
    Patrick XOXO

  3. MJR Charlie says

    Thanks for putting up a marvel heroes topic here Patrick.

    Unlike tj, I love Wolverine, absolutly the finest hero ever, and yes he might get more sportlight sometimes, but I’m happy in that.

    Truth is, my 3 top fav x-men are Colossus, big sexy russian, Beast, bulky, smart and totally flexable, and that other hairy mutant with the claws. I’ve done several drawings of Beast and Wolverine, often together, lol.

    I also love Sabertooth, as in the AOA version, cause he’s another hard case hero (always thought it a shame he had to be the villian in the normal timeline).

    I think I just like my heroes to either be furry or hard case, I used to read a lot of captain amerca comics, but not so much now seen as how the ‘do-gooder’ thing doesn’t work as much for me no more.

    I have to go on what tj said about Wiccen and Hulkling, they should bring these two into the mainstream and give them a comic series of their own, give them a chance to fan out (more kissing and making out, LOL)

  4. Hey Patrick,

    gorgeous assortment of gorgeous superheroes! In Spandex! Seriously, I really like the classic guys the most and my absolute favorite is Namor! Do You remember John Byrnes run on him in 1990/1991? He kinda reinvented the character and made him cool again. And he drew him extremely sexy (although he probably didn’t want to hahaha).

    Spider-Man is another type of hero, lighthearted and always in trouble. His love-life is a desaster (at least in the classic series when he wasn’t married) and he is always digging for money. I’d give him a dollar if he let me touch his gorgeous legs… lol… just kidding =D

    Anyways, great fun post and gorgeous additions! Thanks man!

  5. Great picks, Patrick! You should try and do a poll here on your blog for a top ten list of Class Comics’ sexiest characters!

    I totally agree with what everyone’s sayin about Madrox– he’s always been one of my faves. I think Iceman deserves an honorable mention too– sure he’s a little vanilla– but given the right artist, he can be pretty hot. Also Hulkling and Wiccan deserve a little props. I agree with TJ though in that I feel kinda skeezy abut liking them since they’re teenagers…

  6. Hiya Charlie, Phrog and JC!

    Glad you enjoyed the men of Marvel post. Ultimately, there are soooooo many other Marvel studs that deserved to be on that list… Maybe I will have to create a “Runner’s up” post at some point! LOL!!! The Silver Age of Marvel spawned so many hot new characters, and the costumes were so simple and great back then. I think I still prefer those incarnations even today!

    We certainly all have our own particular favorites, but it’s cool to see that I got a few of them right in my selection! HA! HA! HA!

    One thing is fer sure… we are all HUGE fans of these Boytoons and I will be sure to feature more stuff about them in future postings!

    Much love to you all!
    Patrick XOXO

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